Benefits of....

I really like learning psychology....
The learning process of psychology is just amazing....
Learn to see how people react... From that, naturally you will know their true nature as well...
How do they lie and how honest they can be...

Vice versa... I will also learn how to lie as well...
Yea... Everyone lies....
It is the art of life which cannot be change... Lolz...

I mean.... Some people lie poorly... Really poorly... As in just within one second or something, we can realised that certain person is lying... Lolz...
Some people... Are just very good...
Me? Well fairly good... XD

I'm good at acting, pretending, and lying...
It depends on me to show you or not that I am lying...
Sometimes... For the sake of my own benefits... I will start to manipulate...
Haha... Yea... Sounds impossible?
Well... I've done it few times already...

Actually... It's pretty scary... Because... Sometimes... I don't know which one will be my real intention...
And... Sometimes... It hurts...
Like today...
I'm pretty emo right now... But... I just pretend that I am not...
And pretend that I'm okay with everything...

Well... I hate it... A lot... But what could I really do?
I really hate it and dislike it...
The "it"? It's something that I want to enjoy but couldn't....
I'm really fed up sometimes....
I want to be so emo right now that I want to bang my head to wall over and over again....
In the end... I need to tell myself... "Fine, whatever...." or something....
Well.... S***... I hate to be good person most of the time...

Everything is so ****** right now...
You can see how pissed I am now for using censored words....
Haiz... ******* day...

I really hate it... I was looking forward for this day...
I .... and everything else... And this is what I get...
THIS IS WHAT I GET IN RETURN!!! >_<
HAIZ.....
Now... I'm sad... Disappointed... and... Pissed...
I don't even know how to describe my frustration properly...
I'm just so........... "beh song" right now....

Haha... Just sang a song...
Thought will make me feel better... But it didn't...
Listened to my crooked voice doesn't really makes me feel better....
S***

How to feel better? Could anyone help? Haiz...