Healing a Wounded Heart

Currently reading a manga... At this late night... @_@
The title is Hajimari no Niina...
Quite similar with my situation as in...
A girl's effort for healing a wounded heart...

Tell me... How could I do that?
I feel really helpless now...
Because I don't know how long will it take...
How much more I can do...
And will it be successful?
Or... Will I live to see one day to see what a wounded heart really means? (Lolz... As in mine?)

Indeed it will a laughing stock for everyone for breaking up for a similar reason...
But... If currently I'm not the one that is on his mind, then what for should I continue?
It is not the best option... Indeed it is not the "happiest" option...
But I don't feel happy now...
My heart ache thinking about him Thinking about another girl...
"I wish I am the lucky one..." That is what in my thought when I looked at 'her'...

Haiz... Why is it that... Always... I have to look at other's people window... To see how happy they are to have what it was absence in my life?
I want to be loved too... I don't want to live alone... I think I've endure enough the loneliness for all those years...
And now... When I found one... One that I thought I can share everything with... Was actually belong to someone else...
Sad... Broken-hearted... Disappointed...
Haiz... Mixed up feelings of what to do next...
Should I let go instead of hoping something that may implausible to achieve?
Or the otherwise...?

There's a doubt in my heart saying that he didn't love me...
If were to compare with hers... His love towards mine would seemingly look ridiculous...

God... What have I done to deserve such punishment?
To cry alone at night...
To feel the pain in my heart...
To feel once again lonely in this world...

The feeling that he is the best gift given by God is slowly disappearing...
Slowly and painfully... I'm beginning to realise that he wasn't mine...
I... feel like dying... To have the feeling of abandoned by the person I loved the most once again....

Haiz... To love a person... It isn't easy at all...