Friday

Yesterday...
Hmm... I went to his house... Well we just chat...
Hmm... Normal chat... But I'm happy...
It's just that I like to enjoy every possible moment alone with him...

By the way, it's not what you think... His maid is there and the parents as well...
And I went there as a friend (I think)...

I like to see his other side of him so that I know I didn't fell in love with him for his charming looks... Lolz...
I like to hear him talking...
Even though it's just a little joke, I really feel like laughing out loud...
I like to hear him talk stories about himself so that I could know him better...

Well... The plan to giving up on him really backfired...
Haiz... I know that if someone read this will kinda get annoyed with my inconsistency of making choice...
Sorry... But I really like him...
Haiz... Trying to control myself not to fall too deeply though
'cause I might get rejection sooner or later
and I need to get myself prepare for that...
Well... We never know what will happen in the future...
I might not be his type at the first place...
But I really wonder... Would that change?

Actually...
I've heard a lot of stories...
I even translate some Chinese just to get some scoop of it...
Well... To tell you the truth... I don't want to end up like that...
That's why I keep reminding myself not to let myself to sink too deep...
I'm afraid...
And now I'm even more scared...
But...
I want to know...
Not just for curiosity...
But... To love a person means that I need to accept everything, including the bitter truth...
Same goes to when I choose to love my parents or God...
Human are not perfect... I need learn and accept the truth...
Haiz... Yen, remember not to sink too deep whereby one day I might drown... XD

It's true that I don't hear good things about him for his past relationships...
He might sounds like a bad person to everyone that had listen to those stories...
But... If I hate him for that... Then I might as well hate both of my parents...
Haiz... Still shocked...
And I don't have the right to hate him for that...
I mean... What am I to him... Maybe just a friend or another fan of his...
Even though to me, he's pretty much the only guy that I want to try my best to get his heart...
And this give me the every reason for me, not to hate him now...

Huh...
Be careful not to be trap...
Be careful not to be too clingy...
Be careful not to be a burden...
Be careful not to start hallucinating...
Be rational all the time even when time seems to have stop and things become like a fairytale...
So that... I won't be too hurt... Nor will I have the hard time to forget about him when times come...
Time can't cure love but love need time to cure...

Hmm... Actually... I really don't have the slightest confidence at all...
I'm different from the girls he liked before...
I'm not that pretty... Even though people around me tend to say I'm cute... But seriously... Cute is like... Hmm... Not really good thing...
Hmm... Why?
'Cause... That silly Skeleton told me before... Cute is for people that's ugly but adorable...
(Haiz... Harsh... >_>"
No wonder Skeleton called me cute all the times... Swt... =_=")
Anyway... Back to the topic...
I don't know what else could I do at the same time...
Now... More people and more people support me for this decision that I've made...
But still restless... At things which comes to him... Haiz...
Happy and distressed at the same time... So this is love huh?
It's sure different when I feel in love with Skeleton... XD

Sorry again for the emo post... But hopefully it could turn into a good news soon... XD